"In Love"

Lord, I'm kinda sleepy but someone just posted an interesting question on Facebook that I feel is an interesting topic to explore on this blog. It isn't something I can just barf out in two sentences--it's rant material. Anyhow, she asked what it meant to be/think/feel in love. It's a question for me that has evolved over time. For brevity's sake, I'll just answer as I experience and view it in the present. Being in love is a state of being that transcends feelings, changing situations and time. It is a way of seeing and doing. Initially there's the blast of chemistry, adoration and lust but emotionally it is the equivalent of navigating around Cape Horn in a tiny row boat--it is treacherous territory and hard to always see clearly. Biochemically it is the equivalent of being on drugs. For me, the in love piece really begins once you've moved around that space and you can look at each other for exactly who you are at exactly that place in time. You become more authentic and develop what shrinks call an "unconditional positive regard." You look at all the data: she snores and grinds her teeth at night, she looks adorable in that ugly apron, I like the way she treats my cat. All of that info is sifted together and you still feel the warmth of your connection. The hard, and beautiful, part of being in love is sustaining that thread between you. It's about honoring that person and your self. It's about staying present, respecting your commitment and having faith. Sometimes you won't like each other, at times you may feel they are an ass or a burden but you trust the process. You hold onto their hand and walk through it together. Starting to get tired now. Okay, time to wind it up. Being in love is something you do, share and live. It's about being yourself, allowing the other person the space to be their self and creating a space where the two of you can touch, separate and come back together again.